A week of Creative Expression
this past week was full of classes as normal, lots of schoolwork and a couple more performances in the hall. We looked at Spiral Dynamics on Tuesday, which is a model of looking at the world, just like everything else we've studied. This model, which is only a model, says that we tend to go between two places. The "I" focused place and the "we" focused place.
Every time we swing from one to another we are including our knowledge from the earlier experiences. Thus we include and transcend. Each of our sessions here feels like such a brief time to explore each subject. They are all years of study within themselves! At this point I feel like I"m hearing what the speakers have to say and look for resources to look further if I'm interested, or to make sense of it for myself.
Most of the rest of the week was devoted to Creativity. We had two studio art sessions with a woman named Diane Main. We each created a project around something of ourselves that we want to let go of. My piece was a look at allowing myself to make mistakes and finding the demons that hold me back from exploring further. I hold a lot of judgment of myself, that I'm not talented enough or have enough knowledge, but i do. I assume that other people know better and sometimes they do but sometimes I do.
I also made a second piece that was playful, coming out of the little brown and purple hanging creatures on the piece above. It was larger and just fun. Those beings were squiggles on my page that I brought to life and 3Dness by cutting them out and hanging them up.
Our other session was clowning with Leslie Quilty. It was nothing like any other clowning I've done. My experiences were all through Circus Camp as a kid and there was a very specific idea of what a clown was. Leslie did not give us any definition and we didn't dress up in overlarge shoes and red noses. We talked about our "bigness," moved around the space and created characters around a time that we have felt big. We did get to dress up but found our own costumes. It was exciting and I think brought out the play and lightness in me that I've been lacking a bit. I relaxed and just had fun. No worry about perceptions or how well I perform, but just fun and games. It's a great tool to be able to bring in joy and lightness into serious situations.
We did have Applied Sustainability this week and we watched a movie called 'Power of Community: How Cuba survived Peak Oil.' I recommend this to anyone who is curious about how Peak Oil will affect us. Cuba was forced into Peak Oil by the collapse of the Soviet Union. They got more than half of their oil, heavily subsidized by the Soviet Union. When it fell, they were told they had 6 months of oil left and then would be cut off. The result of this now is local organic gardening and a coming together of community to create the quality of life that they strive for.
We also worked on our Permaculture project on the land next to the guest bungalow Westwood. There are now 5 garden beds ready for planting. It's looking completely transformed.
I went to two performances this week in the Hall. Wednesday night was Kathakali from South West India and Friday night was Shooglenifty, a Scottish band that I would describe as Celtic Rock/Scottish Bluegrass.
Kathakali is a highly stylized form of theatre involving mudras(a type of Indian sign language--this is highly spiritual in that tradition), miming and elaborate costumes and drumming. The told an easternized version of Snow White. The story was told to us beforehand, as the narration was not in English. As a response to it for class I am making a Kathakali puppet.
Shooglenifty was wonderful. Energetic, fun, exciting. I had a blast. I danced for most of it and the dance floor was crowded. I wished for so many people during the show that would have loved listening to and dancing to it. Check them out. Seriously.
Friday was also Samhain/Halloween. We did a haunted house in the Youth Project(YP) building for the kids and then there was a special dinner and part in the CC. I dressed up as Ezma from The Emperor's New Groove although most people thought I was just dressed up, as it looked like something someone from Findhorn would wear.
This coming Wednesday is Guy Fawkes Day and we'll be celebrating with a bonfire at the park, but Saturday was the big celebration in Forres. The Fire was huge and there was music and fireworks and carnival rides.
Sweating together
The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of events, experiences, emotions and too little sleep. Classes dealt with conflict resolution, shamanism, waste, making baskets...a long week.
Saturday we did our sweat lodge. We started by gathering wood that Craig had cut and preparing the lodge. After moving all the wood, cleaning the lodge and started to put the blankets on it, covering the whole thing so that no light shone through. We added the tarps last to keep the heat in. The fire had been started by this point with our burden stones placed in to heat up for the lodge itself. We sang songs and told stories while the stones heated. Before we started the fire we blessed the directions opening the gates for support and thanking them for being with us through the process. Fire is an obvious one, and water both to drink and to create steam. The air we breathe and the earth we sit on and cool ourselves with. I was covered in earth by the end.
We sat in the lodge for 3-4 rounds with the heat. I did all 4 although the 4th was incredibly hot and difficult for me. As was the second. I found that interesting. The first round was devoted to our pasts. We prayed, asked forgiveness and thanks for ourselves, people and events in our pasts. The second round was our present and the third our future. The last round was open, just anything else we wanted to say. In between rounds I lay on the earth outside the lodge and looked at the stars, and of course drank water. I could feel my heart beating throughout my entire body. Overall it was an amazing experience. I enjoy sweating and enjoyed this experience.
The next day we met back at the space to do a completion. We each spent time alone in nature and created something to show our experiences. I found a tree I was comfortable in, a good place to journal and worked with charcoal and dead leaves to add to my tree and make it more my own. Nothing lasting but something to express my experience.
Life on the Island
This week has been so full and incredible that I don't even know where to begin...here's trying.
Last Saturday we boarded Sir George (the bus) at 6:45 to start our journey to Erraid. It was a long ride, rainy, cold and cramped. We drove through the Highlands, had two ferry crossings and eventually made it to the crossing point from Mull to Erraid around 12:30. At low tide, you can walk to Erraid, it's a tidal island. We walked across the narrows, our luggage being pulled by Heather in the tractor, and made it just in time for a lovely simple lunch. Most if not all of our lunches there were soup, bread and salad.
I lived in House 6. Most people lived with a community member, but our house did not have a resident living in it. It was me, Email Vail, Hannah and Ina. Later Leaf joined our house because of allergy problems in his own. I shared a room with Emily. The house smelled like the Thetford House, probably the age of the building plus the smell of wood fires.
Everything on Erraid is heated by wood stoves, including the water. To take a hot shower, we needed to run the wood stove for something like 2 hours to heat up the water. We didn't have too many problems there as far as I know. I didn't have any problems at least...We also did not have indoor toilets. The toilets are all composting outhouses. It's a pain to have to go outside to use the bathroom, but now being back at the park, I feel guilty flushing so much clean water down the toilet. It was a chilly experience, but I actually really enjoyed it.
After we arrived, I spent the rest of the day settling in. I went and explored the island on Sunday with one of the community members and a bunch of the guests for the week. I took a ton of pictures, which even though I know I'm behind on posting, I promise to try to get to soon. They're still on my camera, but soon my friends, soon. On the walk we went to an old blacksmith's cottage, the wishing stone at the high point of the island, Seal Bay to watch the seals and Balfour Bay where we went swimming and approached some of the sheep and cows that inhabit the island.
(I recognize this is a sort of a brief summary of the week, I will answer questions and give more details if asked....)
Monday we worked in the community in the morning and had the afternoon for FCS things. I worked in the garden, which actually meant sitting in the dining room peeling and cutting apples to be stored for winter. It was lovely. I had a stuffy nose so jumped on a job that would leave me inside. I felt much better after a day inside and had a really fun time peeling and cutting. And that night, we had apple crumble for dessert (or afters as they seem to call it here sometimes).
Tuesday we also worked. Garden in the morning, clearing beds for winter covering. In the afternoon I worked in the candle studio cleaning molds and polishing candles to be sent to market. It was another nice, warm afternoon with Paul Simon playing in the background.
Wednesday we had a special treat. It was supposed to be our day off to go to Iona, a sacred isle right across the water, but John, the shepard decided that it was a good day to herd the sheep to send to market and vaccinate them. We created a line across the island(it's a small island, shows up as part of Mull on google maps), and basically gathered the sheep and held them at Balfour Bay and then walked them back to the settlement. I have some good pictures from the experience. It was a beautiful day to walk outside for 3 hours. We had the afternoon off.
Thursday we were supposed to go to Iona but there was a storm and Heather wasn't comfortable taking the boat out, so I sat at home, watched Gandhi in 8(the community room) and knit and read for the rest of the day. Despite no Iona, it was a wonderful day.
Friday we did homecare, and some people walked to the ferry to spend the day on Iona. I decided that I will find another time to go to Iona, whether it's this trip or another. Maybe we'll stop there during the travel weekend in November? Who knows. After homecare, we watched Fern Gully, which I hadn't seen in years. I believe it was the first film I ever saw in theatres and is just as terrifying and incredible as I remember it to be. Friday night we played an awesome game of Salad bowl (charades meets taboo for those of you who don't know).
Saturday we drove home. It was a beautiful day and we could see the highlands much clearer. There were a lot of rainbows and I was struck over and over again by the beauty of the landscape. Only 5,000 people live in Scotland and along the drive there were so many places where I couldn't see a single house, just the lonely one track road we were on. It was stunning and powerful.
While we were on Erraid, I found myself going to meditation fairly often. I had some powerful meditations about my future, the path I'm on, and auras. I don't want to go into them in detail here, but let me tell you that they were some of the most powerful meditations I've ever had.
The other important thing of note is that the food, at least most of the veg was from the garden approximately 30 feet from the kitchen. My kind of living.
And so now I'm back at the Park. Back to school work, KP and Long Meadow. Another place I thoroughly enjoy.
Monks on Macs
This is an entry about intention. There is a Buddhist retreat center across the street from Findhorn Ecovillage called Shambala. I wanted to volunteer there to get a behind the scenes look at the “Buddhist Heart Shrine Relic tour” that was coming through town. Basically, when Buddhist monks die, beginning with the original Buddha, Siddhartha, pearl-like crystals have been found in the ashes. Some believe that these relics are a result of the true loving kindness within the Buddhist teachers and that they can radiate these energies to observers. There are now monks travelling around the world on this Heart Shrine Tour sharing these relics and giving blessings to anyone who would like to receive them. I thought about the co incidence of Shambala opening directly across the street from Findhorn. It seems to me an inevitable communion of New Age spirituality and Buddhism, one of the most ancient forms of spirituality in the world. I hesitate to use the word religion because I think both of these ways of being emphasize finding your own path--nothing indoctrinating about them, but it offers a supporting community of fellow seekers.
I sat wide-eyed at the opening ceremony as an interfaith minister talked about her view on the underlying message of all religions which is human compassion. As I stared at the display of the relics and the pictures of the deceased monks, I felt a strange sense of anticipation. I scrutinized the display case and I noticed a flower moving up and down, as if it were breathing. My heart skipped a few beats—until I saw that it was attached to a wire and it in fact was an electronically blossoming lotus. I laughed and then felt a bit jipped by this; adjacent to this mechanically budding lotus flower were the relics of the first Buddha—Siddhartha. I pondered whether the presentation took away from the integrity of the message.
I was the official guard of the relics, so I had the pleasure of watching how people interacted with the display. Throughout the day, curious Christians, Quakers, Permaculturists, Bread Bakers, Hippies, Footballers and (fill in the blank)s walked through to see the Buddhist relics. I watched as other people had extremely emotional responses to the blessings they received as the relics were held over their heads. I decided to personally receive a blessing as well, and I admit that I felt an intense state of inner peace. I also understand the placebo effect. I’m not willing to choose either one as an explanation—because there’s the beauty of it—I don’t have to. (Dualism is way overrated.)
Towards the end of my shift, I watched an elderly man tear up as he read a passage about forgiveness from the Golden Light Sutra. I knew in that moment that the wisdom had still been received, electronic lotus and all.
To try and preserve Buddhism or any other ancient wisdom in its original form risks widening the gap between the message and the audience, and one way to renew ancient wisdom is to accept the form it takes in the modern day. As I packed up my bag at the end of my shift, I went to say goodbye to one of the Monks who had been giving blessings earlier in the day. A huge smile appeared on my face when I saw her opposite the meditation room, typing away on her Mac.
Computers exist and so do human beings, so why not have compassion for both—it’s all about intention from here on. There is no going back in time.
(Thoughts? Responses? I’d love to hear them.)
quick update
Tomorrow morning, bright and early we are leaving for a week on the island of Erraid off the west coast. It's in the Inner Heberdies. The Foundation stewards the island for a Dutch family and so we'll be working in the community and relaxing. We have a little work to do, but not much. One book I think and a movie to watch.
This morning we had more Creativity class, although it was only half a morning. We did a quick wave(5 rhythms) and then discussed how the class is going. It was a way for Deborah to check in with us about where we are and how everything is working for us. It was fun, although I also would have liked sleeping in.
Tea break was incredible this morning! Someone is leaving the community so he brought a bunch of cakes and other sweets(including Twix bars...or the British equivalent) and was really happy we came. He said he had meant to invite us specifically, but had forgotten and was glad we had come. It was a lot of sweet and my water bottle was quickly emptied into my stomach after that.
This afternoon I went into Forres with Tom, Jake, Mikaela, Elizabeth and E. Vail. We bought some yarn and Elizabeth, Mikaela and I had drinks at Toast, a nice cafe. We then decided to walk back and stopped at the Suono's stone (I took pictures) and the Kinloss Abbey, which is ruins from the 1600's I believe. It was a beautiful day for a walk and a lot of fun.
Macbeth and Cullerne
Saturday there was a food festival at Cawdor Castle, the castle that Macbeth was set in. The Dowager Countess Cawdor is a big supporter of local and organic food and hosted a Slow Food event called Living Foods on the grounds. Local vendors and producers all gathered to show off their wares and give a sense of what is in the area. I ate a ton of free samples(it was £4 to get in) and also got to view the gardens and the castle itself. I did take pictures of the gardens and the outside of the castle(they wouldn't let us take pictures inside) and will post them soon, I'll get them on my computer before the weekend at least. There was a tent at the festival with music and I got to listen to some jigs and reels, although they did play some American Civil War songs as well. All in all it was worth the £4 and more.
The rest of the weekend was spent trying to read The Consciousness Revolution for my Worldviews and Consciousness class. This book is a conversation between three men, Ervin Lazlo, Stan Grof and Peter Russell. Over two days they discuss how the world is shifting and were our consciousnesses are and need to go to support this shift. It is an interesting read, although frustrating at times. It's just an edited transcript of a conversation, so when you want one of them to back something up, they don't because the other two know what he's talking about. An interesting read however. I hope to read it in more depth at some point, instead of cramming it in before a deadline.
Monday we did a session of Nonviolent Communication, which released a lot of tension about the subject for me. I've had some frustrating experiences with NVC in the past, where people I've been talking to in this process seem more interested in the process itself than communicating with me. Leo made the process come alive by including us in what we wanted to learn in terms of of NVC and expressed the spirit without enforcing the form. I found it very helpful and fun.
We have a paper due on NVC this Friday and I wrote it directly after lunch on Monday. Feeling super productive, I made my way to Cullerne for LES. We weeded chard and rocket(arugula) and some other greens all over the garden.
Tuesday we had our colloquium on The Consciousness Revolution. It was a difficult format for me as we each only have 12 minutes to speak and discuss the issues that we wanted to bring to the group. Some of the discussions fizzled quickly and others were just getting started as time ran out. Very frustrating, however it reminded me of the symposia we held a couple of times at Bennington. I liked those better, but I was also not being graded on those...
Tuesday afternoon was very exciting. We got to Cullerne and the bus was there. We took a field trip to Cluny to pick up boxes and then to Earth Share to help harvest chicory root. It was an amazing afternoon. It was cold and definitely the most Scottish weather I think I've experienced here. Pouring for ten minutes, then bright, sunny skies, then rain again....they were right. This does make New England look fairly consistent in terms of weather patterns.
Tuesday was quite a long day. After the morning colloquium, working at Earth Share(we got cookies at tea break for going....awesome), we met at David's house to discuss Ken Wilber's book A Brief History of Everything. The discussion was very frustrating for a some of us as those dominating the conversation were more interested in talking about Wilber and his writing style for this book than the issues themselves. We have a paper due Friday on his book and the discussion could have been so much more helpful (I have pretty much finished the paper now despite the convo). Our frustration came out in a decision to discuss the issues the following day at dinner. It also came out the following morning in attunement.
Our attunement was a process of opening the space to conflicts that may have arisen but not been spoken since we arrived. It took the form of a fishbowl, starting with david, stacie and emma discussing the fact that there seems to be a feeling of tension and discontent bubbling beneath our surface although we put on the face of true happiness. For me, part of it is that we keep saying that we're compassionate people, and we are, but I think that we're a bit stuck in the idea of everything being wonderful. We need to allow anger and frustration into the circle. However, a lot of people were very upset by the format and felt that we were being forced into conflict that might not be there. But by saying that, I think that those people were shutting out the possibility that some of us might have had something to bring to the group or wanted the group's support in resolving. Although many people came out of the session very upset, I actually felt a huge sense of relief that the issue of conflict had come up, even if it seemed forced to some people. It opened a space for me to feel comfortable bringing up conflicts that I may have.
We ended up with Wednesday afternoon off. It was supposed to be a student led learning session, but instead we spent the time processing the morning. I knit with E.Vail, went to the Blue Angel and drank cappuccino(rare for me, but very tasty) and talked with Emily and Callie about home and here and basically it was a fun afternoon. We did have an evening session with Elliot, who works in the garden. He talked to us about NextGEN, the next generation in the Global Ecovillage Network. Check out the website, it's a really cool network.
Thursday was a full day of creativity. We started in the morning with creative writing. We worked with poetry. I wrote a bunch of poems including a list poem of gratitude and a few poems on grief. I might post some of them, but we'll see.
We spent the afternoon collecting willow to make baskets. We also started the bases. I'm pretty excited about this. I find basket making really interesting and I'm glad to add that skill to my repertoire.
Today was also the Cullerne Harvest festival/30th birthday party. I missed the afternoon festivities, but they had a harvest dinner in the CC with lots of veg from the garden. There was also a sharing(open mic) in the Universal Hall with songs, stories, history, poems and dancing. It was a lot of fun to hear everyone's connections to Cullerne and the music and writing that people shared.
Five Rhythms/Permaculture
I danced Gabrielle Roth's five rhythms Wednesday morning. I went to Taize and Sanctuary beforehand and so hadn't eaten enough recently enough when I got there. Also, I didn't get my glasses fixed before I left, so I had to keep them off to prevent them from flying across the room. This made me dizzy and I ended up feeling quite ill, although I still enjoyed myself. I am creating a temporary solution for my glasses involving rubber bands, and then I think I'm going to go to another Five Rhythm's class where hopefully I'll be able to be more present in the dancing. The Five Rhythms are Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness. Each rhythm represents a time in our lives, different emotions, spiritual states and much more. Basically, Roth saw these patterns over and over again in her life and developed a way of moving through them to bring healing and balance into our lives. It's quite fun and can be informative if you want to read that into it. If not, that's fine too and it's just fun to dance.
The afternoon was processing the dancing(or movement if you're uncomfortable with dancing....we all move). We also chose our Art of Fascination assignments. I am teaching knitting and alt.clothing to Hannah and E.Vail, and am learning actually two things(I couldn't decide) guitar and song writing from Jake and I'm doing acrobatics with Leaf. I really want to work on my handstands and balance. Leaf can do a back flip, but I don't know if I'll get there...probably not. Handstands are enough for me.
Wednesday evening was our Mentor bbq. It was really fun. We built a fire in the pit outside of Long Meadow, and D-fly bbq'ed and we all brought food and just hung out by the fire. I had a nice talk with Jonathan, my teacher, about contra dancing and knitting. Overall it was a nice time. However, I did stay there too late as I had a paper to write on Maps to Ecstasy and had reading to do for Jonathan for the next day. I got the work done though and although was tired the next morning, made it through the day, which was a full one of Applied Sustainability.
A man named Christopher came to talk to us about food and farming. We visited Cullerne Garden, EarthShare(a local CSA connected to the community), and Wester Lawrenceton, which is a dairy farm that also raises chickens and sheep and makes and sells high end cheese. It was all very beautiful. Christopher talked a lot about organic vs. conventional farming, and oil. I think about how much oil is used to transporting food, but I have not thought too much about oil in the rest of farming: pesticides, tractors, plastics, processing...it's a lot of oil and with the price of it on the rise, food will continue to become more expensive. I have some ideas about getting involved with schools to create living curricula that involve getting the kids out into gardens learning science and getting their hands dirty. We'll see how that plays out when I get home, unless I get sidetracked by other projects and ideas. I wrote my reflection paper for the week about some of this, and I think I'll post the two I've written sometime soon. Maybe after this entry, if I'm not too tired. Nick, the farmer at Wester Lawrenceton was a kind old man with a well trained sheepdog named Prayer, I believe. He looked a little like Larry Spatz, but with a much bigger beard. He toke us around his farm and talked about the way agriculture is going in the UK and the world. More about oil, some about the decreasing numbers of farmers, especially young people interested in going into this very important life. After a tour and some explore time on our own(I held a chicken, and was smelled by a cow), we had tea and some of Nick's cheese. It was delicious. Those of you visiting me(all three of you), you can get it in the Phoenix, and it's high end and a bit pricey but very good and very local. I recommend it.
Thursday night was a transformative time for me. Craig Gibson, an Australian man who has been living here for 40 years and teaches and lives his own version of Permaculture came to talk to us. We were all pretty drained from the day and staying up late working the night before, and the anticipation of writing a paper for Group Dynamics before bed, so he started with a didgeridoo meditation. He's an incredible player and I was sitting near him so I could feel it in my feet. It was incredible. I found in that experience, the edges of my body. I had been struggling with feeling of disappearing from my body when I meditate. However, in this I was fully in my body and have continued to feel my body in that way whenever I stop to breathe. Amazing. Craig made a map of Permaculture looking at the three principles, Earth Care, People Care, and Fair Share, as well as the four directions, their elements, which were different than my experience...fire in the east, air in the south. It was a live learning, with Craig creating the map with us, in front of us, remembering as he went. The map is on the wall in the classroom. I'll try to take a picture of it tomorrow. It's a mind map of chaos, order, creation. It may not look like much, but it will remind me at least. We ended with more didgeridoo and then went home to finish our papers and sleep.
Friday started with our weekly attunement. It was a sharing. There was a lot of talk of families and I found as more and more shared, that I am incredibly lucky to have the family I have, blood family and larger community family. I am so supported in what I want and need out of my life and I just want to take this space to thank each and every one of you. I've been thinking about you and sending hugs your directions.
Friday afternoon we spent with Craig, looking at his garden, a wild entanglement of plants, compost, cardboard and creativity. It looks like a mess, an unkempt yard, but it is all edible, or mostly and he has enough food to feed his family and more. He invited us to forage in his garden anytime. Craig's house is also integrated into his garden and is a beautiful mishmash of things. He has a pottery wheel upstairs..and well. I took pictures. I will post them soon. It is getting late and so I think this is where I will stop for tonight. To come: Living Food Festival and Cawdor Castle(the one from Macbeth)
who are we as learners? an artistic exercise
During their orientation week, the students participated in various sessions looking at learning styles, learning histories and learning goals. One morning was spent creating "learning sticks" - students decorated sticks or branches they had found with yarn, buttons, pins, beads and markers, in an attempt to represent how they saw themselves as learners. The result were beautifully imaginative sticks, and deeply reflective sharings from the students about their learning histories and their hopes for the semester here. Students were encouraged to be open with the group about their challenges as learners, and ask for support when needed, both from the group as a learning community as well as from the program staff and faculty. At the end of the week, the group created an altar on which they placed their learning sticks and special objects that connected them to home. Early in the following week, the students wrote their term learning goals on small pieces of paper, and tied them to their learning sticks which remain on the group altar.
an afternoon at the beach
Some pictures of an afternoon the group spent at the beach, swimming in the icy north sea, and then gathering to create a nature mandala out of found materials.
Compost Faeries
This week has been wonderful thus far. Monday was GD and myself, Leaf, Jake and Hannah led the beginning of class including attunement, warm-up, check in and a discussion on our learning goals and how they relate to GD. It went well although I ended up leading a lot more than I had originally hoped I would. I led the warm up(acorn, acorn, TREE!) and then also started us on our discussion. The whole thing went fairly well, and Mary complimented me on how much initiative I took even though I've said in the past that I tend to be more of a listener and a follower in groups. I guess different things often emerge when I'm put into a leadership role. The process was a little frustrating for me as some of the other members of the group just wanted to wing it. But I expressed that and then ended up taking it from there. And the others followed me! I think we worked together well and ended up with a nice, fun discussion with a playful element added to a subject we're all tired of speaking on.
After tea, we discussed the difference between what we notice about people, what we imagine about people and the feelings that brings up. It's really interesting way to look at judgments we make about people and situations. I imagined something about another student that reflected how I would feel if I was sitting the way she was at the time, and it was a completely different experience for her. Try this exercise, I am very aware of my noticings vs my imaginings. We continued to work with this idea of double signals, body language, tone of voice, gestures, etc. as an awareness of what we're trying to say, or avoiding saying. I tend to talk with my hands a lot and sometimes have trouble making eye contact, especially when I don't know what to say.
After lunch was work in Cullerne. I turned compost! So much fun. I got a chance to talk to Emily about spirituality vs. secular thinking and since we come from very different perspectives(although we both grew up in UU churches...she's a Ferry Beach kid, while I went to Rowe), it was really informative and has helped me think about how I can explain the spiritual leanings I've been having, more strongly especially since I got to Findhorn.
Monday night we had off, but it was Jonathan's birthday and there was a bbq in the field outside our bungalow. Lots of people and some men playing penny whistles....I miss John Kirk's classes and want a penny whistle to play with here...and my music. There was food and cake and a fire and it was wonderful.
This morning we had WorldCon with David. We talked about consciousness and worldviews...what are they, how they're created. We talked about spirituality vs. consciousness, and spirituality vs. religion. This is all helpful for this conversation about spirituality I'm finding myself in. We did an exercise where we looked through our lives to find where our worldviews were born, how they came into being and what has contributed thus far. While taking notes at the end of the exercise(it was a meditation more or less), I found myself writing down the names of people who have had a huge influence on my life. There is a large number of you and I think about your guys in how my worldviews has been shaped more than the events of my life, although those have definitely contributed as well.
Lunch was a very fun part of my day. Each FCS student has a community mentor, or faerie as some of us have been calling them. I finally sat down with mine today! Her name is Lucy and she works with the youth at the Foundation. She is trained as a state school teacher(public school for those of you in America...), and is currently teaching at the playhouse(in the park--afterschool sort of program I guess), and is trying to start a program for 16-24 year olds outside of the community to learn about Findhorn and themselves as well. She and I are very well matched. We both love to dance, and I felt immediately as ease with her. She mirrors me well and I think I can gain a lot of insight from her. It's her first time being a FCS faerie. We went for a walk after lunch and talked some more before I had to get ready to go up to Cullerne for LES. Today I planted out seedlings into one of the tunnels..the one called Finclair, I believe. We planted lettuce, spinach and chinese cabbage I think. Delicious.
Tonight has been planning for tomorrow's Faerie bbq--teachers will be there as well, and writing a paper for my creativity class. Tomorrow we're dancing the Five Rhythms in the morning and then doing theory in the afternoon.
Until then....
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A week of Creative Expression
this past week was full of classes as normal, lots of schoolwork and a couple more performances in the hall. We looked at Spiral Dynamics on Tuesday, which is a model of looking at the world, just like everything else we've studied. This model, which is only a model, says that we tend to go between two places. The "I" focused place and the "we" focused place.
Every time we swing from one to another we are including our knowledge from the earlier experiences. Thus we include and transcend. Each of our sessions here feels like such a brief time to explore each subject. They are all years of study within themselves! At this point I feel like I"m hearing what the speakers have to say and look for resources to look further if I'm interested, or to make sense of it for myself.
Most of the rest of the week was devoted to Creativity. We had two studio art sessions with a woman named Diane Main. We each created a project around something of ourselves that we want to let go of. My piece was a look at allowing myself to make mistakes and finding the demons that hold me back from exploring further. I hold a lot of judgment of myself, that I'm not talented enough or have enough knowledge, but i do. I assume that other people know better and sometimes they do but sometimes I do.
I also made a second piece that was playful, coming out of the little brown and purple hanging creatures on the piece above. It was larger and just fun. Those beings were squiggles on my page that I brought to life and 3Dness by cutting them out and hanging them up.
Our other session was clowning with Leslie Quilty. It was nothing like any other clowning I've done. My experiences were all through Circus Camp as a kid and there was a very specific idea of what a clown was. Leslie did not give us any definition and we didn't dress up in overlarge shoes and red noses. We talked about our "bigness," moved around the space and created characters around a time that we have felt big. We did get to dress up but found our own costumes. It was exciting and I think brought out the play and lightness in me that I've been lacking a bit. I relaxed and just had fun. No worry about perceptions or how well I perform, but just fun and games. It's a great tool to be able to bring in joy and lightness into serious situations.
We did have Applied Sustainability this week and we watched a movie called 'Power of Community: How Cuba survived Peak Oil.' I recommend this to anyone who is curious about how Peak Oil will affect us. Cuba was forced into Peak Oil by the collapse of the Soviet Union. They got more than half of their oil, heavily subsidized by the Soviet Union. When it fell, they were told they had 6 months of oil left and then would be cut off. The result of this now is local organic gardening and a coming together of community to create the quality of life that they strive for.
We also worked on our Permaculture project on the land next to the guest bungalow Westwood. There are now 5 garden beds ready for planting. It's looking completely transformed.
I went to two performances this week in the Hall. Wednesday night was Kathakali from South West India and Friday night was Shooglenifty, a Scottish band that I would describe as Celtic Rock/Scottish Bluegrass.
Kathakali is a highly stylized form of theatre involving mudras(a type of Indian sign language--this is highly spiritual in that tradition), miming and elaborate costumes and drumming. The told an easternized version of Snow White. The story was told to us beforehand, as the narration was not in English. As a response to it for class I am making a Kathakali puppet.
Shooglenifty was wonderful. Energetic, fun, exciting. I had a blast. I danced for most of it and the dance floor was crowded. I wished for so many people during the show that would have loved listening to and dancing to it. Check them out. Seriously.
Friday was also Samhain/Halloween. We did a haunted house in the Youth Project(YP) building for the kids and then there was a special dinner and part in the CC. I dressed up as Ezma from The Emperor's New Groove although most people thought I was just dressed up, as it looked like something someone from Findhorn would wear.
This coming Wednesday is Guy Fawkes Day and we'll be celebrating with a bonfire at the park, but Saturday was the big celebration in Forres. The Fire was huge and there was music and fireworks and carnival rides.
Sweating together
The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of events, experiences, emotions and too little sleep. Classes dealt with conflict resolution, shamanism, waste, making baskets...a long week.
Saturday we did our sweat lodge. We started by gathering wood that Craig had cut and preparing the lodge. After moving all the wood, cleaning the lodge and started to put the blankets on it, covering the whole thing so that no light shone through. We added the tarps last to keep the heat in. The fire had been started by this point with our burden stones placed in to heat up for the lodge itself. We sang songs and told stories while the stones heated. Before we started the fire we blessed the directions opening the gates for support and thanking them for being with us through the process. Fire is an obvious one, and water both to drink and to create steam. The air we breathe and the earth we sit on and cool ourselves with. I was covered in earth by the end.
We sat in the lodge for 3-4 rounds with the heat. I did all 4 although the 4th was incredibly hot and difficult for me. As was the second. I found that interesting. The first round was devoted to our pasts. We prayed, asked forgiveness and thanks for ourselves, people and events in our pasts. The second round was our present and the third our future. The last round was open, just anything else we wanted to say. In between rounds I lay on the earth outside the lodge and looked at the stars, and of course drank water. I could feel my heart beating throughout my entire body. Overall it was an amazing experience. I enjoy sweating and enjoyed this experience.
The next day we met back at the space to do a completion. We each spent time alone in nature and created something to show our experiences. I found a tree I was comfortable in, a good place to journal and worked with charcoal and dead leaves to add to my tree and make it more my own. Nothing lasting but something to express my experience.
Life on the Island
This week has been so full and incredible that I don't even know where to begin...here's trying.
Last Saturday we boarded Sir George (the bus) at 6:45 to start our journey to Erraid. It was a long ride, rainy, cold and cramped. We drove through the Highlands, had two ferry crossings and eventually made it to the crossing point from Mull to Erraid around 12:30. At low tide, you can walk to Erraid, it's a tidal island. We walked across the narrows, our luggage being pulled by Heather in the tractor, and made it just in time for a lovely simple lunch. Most if not all of our lunches there were soup, bread and salad.
I lived in House 6. Most people lived with a community member, but our house did not have a resident living in it. It was me, Email Vail, Hannah and Ina. Later Leaf joined our house because of allergy problems in his own. I shared a room with Emily. The house smelled like the Thetford House, probably the age of the building plus the smell of wood fires.
Everything on Erraid is heated by wood stoves, including the water. To take a hot shower, we needed to run the wood stove for something like 2 hours to heat up the water. We didn't have too many problems there as far as I know. I didn't have any problems at least...We also did not have indoor toilets. The toilets are all composting outhouses. It's a pain to have to go outside to use the bathroom, but now being back at the park, I feel guilty flushing so much clean water down the toilet. It was a chilly experience, but I actually really enjoyed it.
After we arrived, I spent the rest of the day settling in. I went and explored the island on Sunday with one of the community members and a bunch of the guests for the week. I took a ton of pictures, which even though I know I'm behind on posting, I promise to try to get to soon. They're still on my camera, but soon my friends, soon. On the walk we went to an old blacksmith's cottage, the wishing stone at the high point of the island, Seal Bay to watch the seals and Balfour Bay where we went swimming and approached some of the sheep and cows that inhabit the island.
(I recognize this is a sort of a brief summary of the week, I will answer questions and give more details if asked....)
Monday we worked in the community in the morning and had the afternoon for FCS things. I worked in the garden, which actually meant sitting in the dining room peeling and cutting apples to be stored for winter. It was lovely. I had a stuffy nose so jumped on a job that would leave me inside. I felt much better after a day inside and had a really fun time peeling and cutting. And that night, we had apple crumble for dessert (or afters as they seem to call it here sometimes).
Tuesday we also worked. Garden in the morning, clearing beds for winter covering. In the afternoon I worked in the candle studio cleaning molds and polishing candles to be sent to market. It was another nice, warm afternoon with Paul Simon playing in the background.
Wednesday we had a special treat. It was supposed to be our day off to go to Iona, a sacred isle right across the water, but John, the shepard decided that it was a good day to herd the sheep to send to market and vaccinate them. We created a line across the island(it's a small island, shows up as part of Mull on google maps), and basically gathered the sheep and held them at Balfour Bay and then walked them back to the settlement. I have some good pictures from the experience. It was a beautiful day to walk outside for 3 hours. We had the afternoon off.
Thursday we were supposed to go to Iona but there was a storm and Heather wasn't comfortable taking the boat out, so I sat at home, watched Gandhi in 8(the community room) and knit and read for the rest of the day. Despite no Iona, it was a wonderful day.
Friday we did homecare, and some people walked to the ferry to spend the day on Iona. I decided that I will find another time to go to Iona, whether it's this trip or another. Maybe we'll stop there during the travel weekend in November? Who knows. After homecare, we watched Fern Gully, which I hadn't seen in years. I believe it was the first film I ever saw in theatres and is just as terrifying and incredible as I remember it to be. Friday night we played an awesome game of Salad bowl (charades meets taboo for those of you who don't know).
Saturday we drove home. It was a beautiful day and we could see the highlands much clearer. There were a lot of rainbows and I was struck over and over again by the beauty of the landscape. Only 5,000 people live in Scotland and along the drive there were so many places where I couldn't see a single house, just the lonely one track road we were on. It was stunning and powerful.
While we were on Erraid, I found myself going to meditation fairly often. I had some powerful meditations about my future, the path I'm on, and auras. I don't want to go into them in detail here, but let me tell you that they were some of the most powerful meditations I've ever had.
The other important thing of note is that the food, at least most of the veg was from the garden approximately 30 feet from the kitchen. My kind of living.
And so now I'm back at the Park. Back to school work, KP and Long Meadow. Another place I thoroughly enjoy.
Monks on Macs
This is an entry about intention. There is a Buddhist retreat center across the street from Findhorn Ecovillage called Shambala. I wanted to volunteer there to get a behind the scenes look at the “Buddhist Heart Shrine Relic tour” that was coming through town. Basically, when Buddhist monks die, beginning with the original Buddha, Siddhartha, pearl-like crystals have been found in the ashes. Some believe that these relics are a result of the true loving kindness within the Buddhist teachers and that they can radiate these energies to observers. There are now monks travelling around the world on this Heart Shrine Tour sharing these relics and giving blessings to anyone who would like to receive them.
I thought about the co incidence of Shambala opening directly across the street from Findhorn. It seems to me an inevitable communion of New Age spirituality and Buddhism, one of the most ancient forms of spirituality in the world. I hesitate to use the word religion because I think both of these ways of being emphasize finding your own path--nothing indoctrinating about them, but it offers a supporting community of fellow seekers.
I sat wide-eyed at the opening ceremony as an interfaith minister talked about her view on the underlying message of all religions which is human compassion. As I stared at the display of the relics and the pictures of the deceased monks, I felt a strange sense of anticipation. I scrutinized the display case and I noticed a flower moving up and down, as if it were breathing. My heart skipped a few beats—until I saw that it was attached to a wire and it in fact was an electronically blossoming lotus. I laughed and then felt a bit jipped by this; adjacent to this mechanically budding lotus flower were the relics of the first Buddha—Siddhartha. I pondered whether the presentation took away from the integrity of the message.
I was the official guard of the relics, so I had the pleasure of watching how people interacted with the display. Throughout the day, curious Christians, Quakers, Permaculturists, Bread Bakers, Hippies, Footballers and (fill in the blank)s walked through to see the Buddhist relics. I watched as other people had extremely emotional responses to the blessings they received as the relics were held over their heads. I decided to personally receive a blessing as well, and I admit that I felt an intense state of inner peace. I also understand the placebo effect. I’m not willing to choose either one as an explanation—because there’s the beauty of it—I don’t have to. (Dualism is way overrated.)
Towards the end of my shift, I watched an elderly man tear up as he read a passage about forgiveness from the Golden Light Sutra. I knew in that moment that the wisdom had still been received, electronic lotus and all.
To try and preserve Buddhism or any other ancient wisdom in its original form risks widening the gap between the message and the audience, and one way to renew ancient wisdom is to accept the form it takes in the modern day. As I packed up my bag at the end of my shift, I went to say goodbye to one of the Monks who had been giving blessings earlier in the day. A huge smile appeared on my face when I saw her opposite the meditation room, typing away on her Mac.
Computers exist and so do human beings, so why not have compassion for both—it’s all about intention from here on. There is no going back in time.
(Thoughts? Responses? I’d love to hear them.)
quick update
Tomorrow morning, bright and early we are leaving for a week on the island of Erraid off the west coast. It's in the Inner Heberdies. The Foundation stewards the island for a Dutch family and so we'll be working in the community and relaxing. We have a little work to do, but not much. One book I think and a movie to watch.
This morning we had more Creativity class, although it was only half a morning. We did a quick wave(5 rhythms) and then discussed how the class is going. It was a way for Deborah to check in with us about where we are and how everything is working for us. It was fun, although I also would have liked sleeping in.
Tea break was incredible this morning! Someone is leaving the community so he brought a bunch of cakes and other sweets(including Twix bars...or the British equivalent) and was really happy we came. He said he had meant to invite us specifically, but had forgotten and was glad we had come. It was a lot of sweet and my water bottle was quickly emptied into my stomach after that.
This afternoon I went into Forres with Tom, Jake, Mikaela, Elizabeth and E. Vail. We bought some yarn and Elizabeth, Mikaela and I had drinks at Toast, a nice cafe. We then decided to walk back and stopped at the Suono's stone (I took pictures) and the Kinloss Abbey, which is ruins from the 1600's I believe. It was a beautiful day for a walk and a lot of fun.
Macbeth and Cullerne
Saturday there was a food festival at Cawdor Castle, the castle that Macbeth was set in. The Dowager Countess Cawdor is a big supporter of local and organic food and hosted a Slow Food event called Living Foods on the grounds. Local vendors and producers all gathered to show off their wares and give a sense of what is in the area. I ate a ton of free samples(it was £4 to get in) and also got to view the gardens and the castle itself. I did take pictures of the gardens and the outside of the castle(they wouldn't let us take pictures inside) and will post them soon, I'll get them on my computer before the weekend at least. There was a tent at the festival with music and I got to listen to some jigs and reels, although they did play some American Civil War songs as well. All in all it was worth the £4 and more.
The rest of the weekend was spent trying to read The Consciousness Revolution for my Worldviews and Consciousness class. This book is a conversation between three men, Ervin Lazlo, Stan Grof and Peter Russell. Over two days they discuss how the world is shifting and were our consciousnesses are and need to go to support this shift. It is an interesting read, although frustrating at times. It's just an edited transcript of a conversation, so when you want one of them to back something up, they don't because the other two know what he's talking about. An interesting read however. I hope to read it in more depth at some point, instead of cramming it in before a deadline.
Monday we did a session of Nonviolent Communication, which released a lot of tension about the subject for me. I've had some frustrating experiences with NVC in the past, where people I've been talking to in this process seem more interested in the process itself than communicating with me. Leo made the process come alive by including us in what we wanted to learn in terms of of NVC and expressed the spirit without enforcing the form. I found it very helpful and fun.
We have a paper due on NVC this Friday and I wrote it directly after lunch on Monday. Feeling super productive, I made my way to Cullerne for LES. We weeded chard and rocket(arugula) and some other greens all over the garden.
Tuesday we had our colloquium on The Consciousness Revolution. It was a difficult format for me as we each only have 12 minutes to speak and discuss the issues that we wanted to bring to the group. Some of the discussions fizzled quickly and others were just getting started as time ran out. Very frustrating, however it reminded me of the symposia we held a couple of times at Bennington. I liked those better, but I was also not being graded on those...
Tuesday afternoon was very exciting. We got to Cullerne and the bus was there. We took a field trip to Cluny to pick up boxes and then to Earth Share to help harvest chicory root. It was an amazing afternoon. It was cold and definitely the most Scottish weather I think I've experienced here. Pouring for ten minutes, then bright, sunny skies, then rain again....they were right. This does make New England look fairly consistent in terms of weather patterns.
Tuesday was quite a long day. After the morning colloquium, working at Earth Share(we got cookies at tea break for going....awesome), we met at David's house to discuss Ken Wilber's book A Brief History of Everything. The discussion was very frustrating for a some of us as those dominating the conversation were more interested in talking about Wilber and his writing style for this book than the issues themselves. We have a paper due Friday on his book and the discussion could have been so much more helpful (I have pretty much finished the paper now despite the convo). Our frustration came out in a decision to discuss the issues the following day at dinner. It also came out the following morning in attunement.
Our attunement was a process of opening the space to conflicts that may have arisen but not been spoken since we arrived. It took the form of a fishbowl, starting with david, stacie and emma discussing the fact that there seems to be a feeling of tension and discontent bubbling beneath our surface although we put on the face of true happiness. For me, part of it is that we keep saying that we're compassionate people, and we are, but I think that we're a bit stuck in the idea of everything being wonderful. We need to allow anger and frustration into the circle. However, a lot of people were very upset by the format and felt that we were being forced into conflict that might not be there. But by saying that, I think that those people were shutting out the possibility that some of us might have had something to bring to the group or wanted the group's support in resolving. Although many people came out of the session very upset, I actually felt a huge sense of relief that the issue of conflict had come up, even if it seemed forced to some people. It opened a space for me to feel comfortable bringing up conflicts that I may have.
We ended up with Wednesday afternoon off. It was supposed to be a student led learning session, but instead we spent the time processing the morning. I knit with E.Vail, went to the Blue Angel and drank cappuccino(rare for me, but very tasty) and talked with Emily and Callie about home and here and basically it was a fun afternoon. We did have an evening session with Elliot, who works in the garden. He talked to us about NextGEN, the next generation in the Global Ecovillage Network. Check out the website, it's a really cool network.
Thursday was a full day of creativity. We started in the morning with creative writing. We worked with poetry. I wrote a bunch of poems including a list poem of gratitude and a few poems on grief. I might post some of them, but we'll see.
We spent the afternoon collecting willow to make baskets. We also started the bases. I'm pretty excited about this. I find basket making really interesting and I'm glad to add that skill to my repertoire.
Today was also the Cullerne Harvest festival/30th birthday party. I missed the afternoon festivities, but they had a harvest dinner in the CC with lots of veg from the garden. There was also a sharing(open mic) in the Universal Hall with songs, stories, history, poems and dancing. It was a lot of fun to hear everyone's connections to Cullerne and the music and writing that people shared.
Five Rhythms/Permaculture
I danced Gabrielle Roth's five rhythms Wednesday morning. I went to Taize and Sanctuary beforehand and so hadn't eaten enough recently enough when I got there. Also, I didn't get my glasses fixed before I left, so I had to keep them off to prevent them from flying across the room. This made me dizzy and I ended up feeling quite ill, although I still enjoyed myself. I am creating a temporary solution for my glasses involving rubber bands, and then I think I'm going to go to another Five Rhythm's class where hopefully I'll be able to be more present in the dancing. The Five Rhythms are Flowing, Staccato, Chaos, Lyrical and Stillness. Each rhythm represents a time in our lives, different emotions, spiritual states and much more. Basically, Roth saw these patterns over and over again in her life and developed a way of moving through them to bring healing and balance into our lives. It's quite fun and can be informative if you want to read that into it. If not, that's fine too and it's just fun to dance.
The afternoon was processing the dancing(or movement if you're uncomfortable with dancing....we all move). We also chose our Art of Fascination assignments. I am teaching knitting and alt.clothing to Hannah and E.Vail, and am learning actually two things(I couldn't decide) guitar and song writing from Jake and I'm doing acrobatics with Leaf. I really want to work on my handstands and balance. Leaf can do a back flip, but I don't know if I'll get there...probably not. Handstands are enough for me.
Wednesday evening was our Mentor bbq. It was really fun. We built a fire in the pit outside of Long Meadow, and D-fly bbq'ed and we all brought food and just hung out by the fire. I had a nice talk with Jonathan, my teacher, about contra dancing and knitting. Overall it was a nice time. However, I did stay there too late as I had a paper to write on Maps to Ecstasy and had reading to do for Jonathan for the next day. I got the work done though and although was tired the next morning, made it through the day, which was a full one of Applied Sustainability.
A man named Christopher came to talk to us about food and farming. We visited Cullerne Garden, EarthShare(a local CSA connected to the community), and Wester Lawrenceton, which is a dairy farm that also raises chickens and sheep and makes and sells high end cheese. It was all very beautiful. Christopher talked a lot about organic vs. conventional farming, and oil. I think about how much oil is used to transporting food, but I have not thought too much about oil in the rest of farming: pesticides, tractors, plastics, processing...it's a lot of oil and with the price of it on the rise, food will continue to become more expensive. I have some ideas about getting involved with schools to create living curricula that involve getting the kids out into gardens learning science and getting their hands dirty. We'll see how that plays out when I get home, unless I get sidetracked by other projects and ideas. I wrote my reflection paper for the week about some of this, and I think I'll post the two I've written sometime soon. Maybe after this entry, if I'm not too tired. Nick, the farmer at Wester Lawrenceton was a kind old man with a well trained sheepdog named Prayer, I believe. He looked a little like Larry Spatz, but with a much bigger beard. He toke us around his farm and talked about the way agriculture is going in the UK and the world. More about oil, some about the decreasing numbers of farmers, especially young people interested in going into this very important life. After a tour and some explore time on our own(I held a chicken, and was smelled by a cow), we had tea and some of Nick's cheese. It was delicious. Those of you visiting me(all three of you), you can get it in the Phoenix, and it's high end and a bit pricey but very good and very local. I recommend it.
Thursday night was a transformative time for me. Craig Gibson, an Australian man who has been living here for 40 years and teaches and lives his own version of Permaculture came to talk to us. We were all pretty drained from the day and staying up late working the night before, and the anticipation of writing a paper for Group Dynamics before bed, so he started with a didgeridoo meditation. He's an incredible player and I was sitting near him so I could feel it in my feet. It was incredible. I found in that experience, the edges of my body. I had been struggling with feeling of disappearing from my body when I meditate. However, in this I was fully in my body and have continued to feel my body in that way whenever I stop to breathe. Amazing. Craig made a map of Permaculture looking at the three principles, Earth Care, People Care, and Fair Share, as well as the four directions, their elements, which were different than my experience...fire in the east, air in the south. It was a live learning, with Craig creating the map with us, in front of us, remembering as he went. The map is on the wall in the classroom. I'll try to take a picture of it tomorrow. It's a mind map of chaos, order, creation. It may not look like much, but it will remind me at least. We ended with more didgeridoo and then went home to finish our papers and sleep.
Friday started with our weekly attunement. It was a sharing. There was a lot of talk of families and I found as more and more shared, that I am incredibly lucky to have the family I have, blood family and larger community family. I am so supported in what I want and need out of my life and I just want to take this space to thank each and every one of you. I've been thinking about you and sending hugs your directions.
Friday afternoon we spent with Craig, looking at his garden, a wild entanglement of plants, compost, cardboard and creativity. It looks like a mess, an unkempt yard, but it is all edible, or mostly and he has enough food to feed his family and more. He invited us to forage in his garden anytime. Craig's house is also integrated into his garden and is a beautiful mishmash of things. He has a pottery wheel upstairs..and well. I took pictures. I will post them soon. It is getting late and so I think this is where I will stop for tonight. To come: Living Food Festival and Cawdor Castle(the one from Macbeth)
who are we as learners? an artistic exercise
During their orientation week, the students participated in various sessions looking at learning styles, learning histories and learning goals. One morning was spent creating "learning sticks" - students decorated sticks or branches they had found with yarn, buttons, pins, beads and markers, in an attempt to represent how they saw themselves as learners. The result were beautifully imaginative sticks, and deeply reflective sharings from the students about their learning histories and their hopes for the semester here. Students were encouraged to be open with the group about their challenges as learners, and ask for support when needed, both from the group as a learning community as well as from the program staff and faculty. At the end of the week, the group created an altar on which they placed their learning sticks and special objects that connected them to home. Early in the following week, the students wrote their term learning goals on small pieces of paper, and tied them to their learning sticks which remain on the group altar.
an afternoon at the beach
Some pictures of an afternoon the group spent at the beach, swimming in the icy north sea, and then gathering to create a nature mandala out of found materials.
Compost Faeries
This week has been wonderful thus far. Monday was GD and myself, Leaf, Jake and Hannah led the beginning of class including attunement, warm-up, check in and a discussion on our learning goals and how they relate to GD. It went well although I ended up leading a lot more than I had originally hoped I would. I led the warm up(acorn, acorn, TREE!) and then also started us on our discussion. The whole thing went fairly well, and Mary complimented me on how much initiative I took even though I've said in the past that I tend to be more of a listener and a follower in groups. I guess different things often emerge when I'm put into a leadership role. The process was a little frustrating for me as some of the other members of the group just wanted to wing it. But I expressed that and then ended up taking it from there. And the others followed me! I think we worked together well and ended up with a nice, fun discussion with a playful element added to a subject we're all tired of speaking on.
After tea, we discussed the difference between what we notice about people, what we imagine about people and the feelings that brings up. It's really interesting way to look at judgments we make about people and situations. I imagined something about another student that reflected how I would feel if I was sitting the way she was at the time, and it was a completely different experience for her. Try this exercise, I am very aware of my noticings vs my imaginings. We continued to work with this idea of double signals, body language, tone of voice, gestures, etc. as an awareness of what we're trying to say, or avoiding saying. I tend to talk with my hands a lot and sometimes have trouble making eye contact, especially when I don't know what to say.
After lunch was work in Cullerne. I turned compost! So much fun. I got a chance to talk to Emily about spirituality vs. secular thinking and since we come from very different perspectives(although we both grew up in UU churches...she's a Ferry Beach kid, while I went to Rowe), it was really informative and has helped me think about how I can explain the spiritual leanings I've been having, more strongly especially since I got to Findhorn.
Monday night we had off, but it was Jonathan's birthday and there was a bbq in the field outside our bungalow. Lots of people and some men playing penny whistles....I miss John Kirk's classes and want a penny whistle to play with here...and my music. There was food and cake and a fire and it was wonderful.
This morning we had WorldCon with David. We talked about consciousness and worldviews...what are they, how they're created. We talked about spirituality vs. consciousness, and spirituality vs. religion. This is all helpful for this conversation about spirituality I'm finding myself in. We did an exercise where we looked through our lives to find where our worldviews were born, how they came into being and what has contributed thus far. While taking notes at the end of the exercise(it was a meditation more or less), I found myself writing down the names of people who have had a huge influence on my life. There is a large number of you and I think about your guys in how my worldviews has been shaped more than the events of my life, although those have definitely contributed as well.
Lunch was a very fun part of my day. Each FCS student has a community mentor, or faerie as some of us have been calling them. I finally sat down with mine today! Her name is Lucy and she works with the youth at the Foundation. She is trained as a state school teacher(public school for those of you in America...), and is currently teaching at the playhouse(in the park--afterschool sort of program I guess), and is trying to start a program for 16-24 year olds outside of the community to learn about Findhorn and themselves as well. She and I are very well matched. We both love to dance, and I felt immediately as ease with her. She mirrors me well and I think I can gain a lot of insight from her. It's her first time being a FCS faerie. We went for a walk after lunch and talked some more before I had to get ready to go up to Cullerne for LES. Today I planted out seedlings into one of the tunnels..the one called Finclair, I believe. We planted lettuce, spinach and chinese cabbage I think. Delicious.
Tonight has been planning for tomorrow's Faerie bbq--teachers will be there as well, and writing a paper for my creativity class. Tomorrow we're dancing the Five Rhythms in the morning and then doing theory in the afternoon.
Until then....
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