work work work
(This post by Emma Dines)
I am used to working. I got my first part time job at the age of 14, and spent two years after high school working full time (one year volunteer-working, and the other year getting paid-working). I don’t mind working, in fact, I kinda like it. I like being productive, taking responsibility, gettin’ ‘er done. In group projects in school, I was always the kid who did the work. (More on that later) Anyway, that being said, it’s always been important to me to work hard. I feel really intense guilt when I slack; I can’t do it!
So what a surprise when I began my work department shift at Cluny Gardens last week, and encountered the work philosophy here which is “Work is Love in Action”. I thought it was pretty self explanatory; you know, have good intentions in mind as you work, see it as a service to the community. I never thought about it having anything to do with the pace or the amount of work we would do. Not that they don’t do work here; they do. Dishes have to get washed, food has to get made, laundry has to be done. But it’s different. There’s a totally different view of work. And it’s taking some getting used to.
My first day at Cluny Gardens I arrived, garden gloves on, ready to roll. It was a three hour shift; I was expecting to get assigned a job, like “shovel this for 3 hours”. So what a shock when we were invited to sit around a table, talk about how we were feeling, and say what kind of flower or animal we liked. I mean, I know we do that here, but I did not expect to do it before a work shift. Then we tuned in (of course) which consists of holding hands in a circle and becoming present. Aiight. That’s cool. Let’s get ready to roll.
But it still wasn’t time to work. First Jacques the gardener wanted to give us a tour of the garden. Ok. I figure, lets do a tour and then get to work! An hour and a half later, after examining every garden bed, hearing stories about every statue and sign, its time for a tea break. We have tea. And toast. For twenty minutes. Then we come back and…finally! I get a job. Weeding a heart shaped garden bed. I scrape moss off rocks and snip yellowing leaves off the hostas. They tell us to be back for 4:45. All in all, I work for about an hour. I come back, feeling a bit unsatisfied, since I wasn’t able to finish the hosta bed. But I oil my tools, stand in a circle with the group, and tune out.
A few days later, our group participates in a “group project” maintenance project, starting at 9AM and lasting until lunch. I am expecting to be digging holes for a few hours, but once again, we get there, tune in, talk about our favorite ice cream, and then mosey over to the job site. An hour later, we break for tea. At tea break I am talking to a dude on the maintenance crew who is on LESP – Living Education Service Program. And I’m voicing my surprise at the pace of work. And that’s when the penny drops for me. That’s when I get it. There is an entirely different definition of ‘work’ here. Work isn’t just “getting ‘er done”. It’s living. Work is a process that includes people, interactions, and stories. It’s the physical activity that happens, and it’s the talk and laughter around it. It’s love. Work is love in action.
Thinking about it, I realize the attachments that surround my work ethic. I realize that I define myself around my work ethic. I feel unsatisfied when I’m not being efficient. So much of how I feel about myself is caught up in productivity – how much I am getting done, in how much time, and how much of that is measurable and obvious to other people. I realize that often I work hard because it says something about me to others. It’s a performance – it’s an attachment.
Friday night I have a KP shift (that’s Kitchen Party for those unfamiliar with Findhorn acronyms). And that’s when I try to really tune in and figure out what this “work is love in action” philosophy is all about. I listen to the KP focalizer Harula talk during the tune in– that we are cleaning the kitchen with our bodies and minds, and preparing it lovingly for others. We are like the keepers of a temple – we are preparing the kitchen and dining room for the community, so that they may go about their day without having to worry about it. So I wipe down the tables with this in mind. And I am so happy. I am so happy to clean the tables, thinking of the ease it will bring to people who will use the space. There is some attachment left over; I am still quick to ask “what else can I do?” to prove that I am a hard worker. But there is a shift in me. I am working to work, I am working to live, I am working to love. And that brings a satisfaction much deeper than approval from others. “Work is love in action”. Word.
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Posted by: Kyle Ryan on Sep 16, 07 | 4:13 pm
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