Coming Home
Well....what to say. I have been home for a few days now but it feels so strange. I had a hell of a time trying to come home....as I believe most of us did. I had no idea that I had actually landed in Chicago other than the fact that I felt the wheels touch the ground. When I looked out the window though it looked like Antarctica. White everywhere, wind whipping the snow around, and hardly anything was visible. It was -4 F when we touched down. That night when I walked from the terminal outside to my plane who knows what the temperature was but in my 'warm' clothes I froze. After flying for nearly two days I finally arrived home at 11 pm 21st December.
By looking at the time of this entry it's easy to tell that I have in no way switched over my sleep schedule yet. I sleep at night but not well and then I crash again sometime during the day. I think it's going to much harder to switch over here than it was in Auroville because people are going to let me sleep here. There we had to be places and there wasn't time to recoup.
I have to say I miss being there. I knew coming home I was going to have to deal with life again -- there I was free from all of that. But that isn't why I really miss it. Life is simple and people are happy. I miss the friends I made. It is really weird wake up and not see the same people you have seen for four months, be able to talk to them. I know it's only a few days in and Christmas is around the corner but I'm not really adjusting well. I've basically been an emotional train wreck -- then again some dramatic things are happening in my life right now. This was my last semester and now I have to figure out what to do with my life. What to do......?
I was in the same state the night we left. I did ok until I had to hug Crystal good-bye. It was like someone was taking away a part of me. That part wasn't just her but the entire experience. She was the last person I hugged so all the emotions fell out -- not that I don't love her and cried just for her. It's going to be a hard road for me....I'm not really sure what I'm going to do.
On the up side the program was wonderful. I was glad that when we all came back together those last two weeks no old dirt surfaced and we all could live peacefully. I actually got to hit the real cricket ball -- it actually looks like a croquet ball. It is rather difficult to hit, especially when it's dark out. But I had a lot of fun. The last two weeks I mainly just hung out with everyone and enjoyed the little time we had left. Erin's birthday was on the 17th so we had a small celebration for her. The last day, I tried to play ultimate but we had a lack of interest/people showing up. We then spent the afternoon making somosas, a deep fried pocket filled with potatoes, carrots, onion, peas, herbs, and spices. I think I gained 10 pounds that day not only from the somosas but from all the chocolate I consumed. That last day wasn't a very healthy one....but we all enjoyed ourselves.
I am sad that everything is over yet life must go on. I have changed for the better, I believe, it's now time for me to put into practice what I have learned. I know it's going to be a hard and difficult road at times but I'm up for the challenge. Next semester is going to rock guys. Peace out from fall '08.
More...
LAST DAY!!!!
I can hardly believe that we're currently packing up. I've just finished and am trying to upload some pictures from the others. At nine am we all gathered in the field next to college guest house and spent time around a beautiful flower and candle spiral(much like the one we began with about founr months ago). we all took time to enjoy he memories we had created as a community. Most of them were funny little moments that had us laughing but they all were memories that we will never forget. Moments when these people who were strangers became like family.
more...
More...
cool traveling pictures!
Hello everyone,
here are some pictures as promised. enjoy! :)
More...
Paper, paper, paper...oh my
So I will start out by saying that I should be doing my paper right now. The last paper is due this week and I have absolutely no drive to finish it. I keep wondering why the most difficult paper was put in the last couple of weeks. I want to enjoy my last few weeks, not be slaving over trying to find a paper topic and then actually doing it. It seems like the 'Mind, Body, Spirit' paper should be last.....yet it's not. This paper is for the 'Global and Local Sustainability' class and as usual we choose whatever topic we want. Currently I am working on dealing with the history of meat and how my diet here has only been veg. I am lacking in information about how damaging livestock is to the environment....which should be a few pages of my paper. I have the intro and the first half down plus I know what to write about on my diet here and how to apply it once I return home....but I'm still missing that main chunk.
My other problem is senioritis. This is the last paper that I will have to write for college, until I go to grad school. I am having a really hard time motivating myself it actually do the work. My brain is fried, all I want to do is run around and experience the last tastes, smells, sights, and sounds of India before I have to go back home. The paper really is on the bottom of my 'To Do List.' Now I don't want to sound as though I'm never going to do it, I will get around to it at some point and have it in on the due date, but at the moment every part of my being is resisting working on it.
In other happier news we all have returned to CGH again for the final days. Tonight is our final wrap-up party, even though we are here until Saturday. My cohort along with the other one have invited the people and friends we have made throughout Auroville to Tibetan for food and fun. It sounds as though this is usually more of a formal type thing but knowing my cohort we will make it a party. Remember the Halloween party....the best party Auroville has seen in quite some time? Yes that was us. I would say 'put on your dancing shoes', but since we don't wear shoes inside how about 'get ready to party!!!!!' I am looking forward to tonight and letting my hair down a little after being stressed, twitchy, and freaked out about this paper. I have a feeling it still won't be done by tonight....but I'll try to forget it for a few hours and have fun.
This week we will be wrapping up the entire semester and while I don't know exactly what we are doing I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone what they have learned. It really is amazing to see the transformation of individuals over the past few months. I hope friends and family can see how hard people have worked and the changes that have occurred. I also hope that the changes that have happened don't dissipate after we return to 'normal life.' I think all of us have become better human beings to ourselves and others by coming on this program. It wasn't something that I was expecting, I knew changes were coming but not the ones that actually happened. I will stay true to myself while trying not to hurt others, but in the end if you are not happy how can you make other happy? I know it sounds selfish, that's what I've always thought, but I know now that I have to be ok with me before I can help others.
Few days are left
more change will probably come
the end is drawing near....yet we are just beginning.
Last few days
The door to our Indian travels is slowly being shut. While I am ready on some level to return home, I feel like the door is being shut in my face. I need to look toward the window which is being opened on the other side of the room but I cannot help but keep my eyes glued to the door. I have some distant unreal hope that it will open again. Someday it will but now I have to continue my 'real' life. I have to be drawn out of the fantasy I've been living in for the past four months and be pulled down the rabbit hole of reality.
A second cyclone was suppose to hit us dead one again starting last Friday. Nothing ever came. They kept saying 'Oh tomorrow it will hit...' yet nothing ever came. Then yesterday the rain came. It is not anywhere near as bad as last time. A lot of rain has fallen in the past day in a half, but there are always breaks. This time there doesn't seem to be any wind, but it could just be my location. Auroville has turned into a swamp again which the frogs and incests use as their stage.
The rain makes me sleepy and nearly impossible to get work done. We have our last academic work, a paper, due soon. I cannot speak for everyone but I do not feel capable of writing this paper. I have been so focused for so long that seeing that I have only a few days left I do not wan to be spending my time trying to write something academic. Now I will of course, no worries there, but it is a lot more difficult than usual. I can't even come up with a solid topic. My brain is in the clouds and they are blowing away fast -- how do I tie myself down?
This has been a great ride and I am planning on returning to India some time in the future. There is a pull to this country that isn't explainable. At first I don't think I understood what it was or how much is was pulling me...now I am able to see and give into it's force. I believe a piece of me will be left here that I will never be able get back...only visit it. As the clouds clear again I await for the sun to shine and warm my body and mind to what will come today.
I swear we're alive!
Wow, it has been a crazy month!!!! We ended Halloween with an awesome bash, that the all girl cohort hosted at college guest house. We had tons of fun decorating and planning and making up some awesome blood punch. We invited the other cohort and a few friends we had met along our travels. Well word got out around auroville that the Living Routes girls were having a Halloween party and before you know it, we had a pretty significant number of people getting down. Tlaloc, our tai chi teacher did us a huge favor and brought his sound system which made dancing even better. We also had Anna and Tiago, two of our favorite people, lead some african druming/dancing. It was tons of fun! More...
Wild and crazy times
The past weeks has been the craziest time every. I don't have a lot of time to go into detail but lets just say a cyclone hit Auroville a few days before we came back from Hampi and stayed. It set up camp and high winds and heavy rains poured down on Auroville...and College Guest House in particular. I think we were actually hit the hardest. Out of all the trees on the property I would say a third to half of them fell down. I loved the energy that it created. I loved seeing the trees fall and while I know it's sad to witness something that powerful is amazing. The storm last nearly a week yet we only have 3 days of it. We were forced out of College Guest House because of the dangerous conditions. Community stays started last Friday yet I am not really settling into mine well.
I though I would need down time to look over the work I had done so I picked the most quite of all the stays. Yet it has been the opposite. I had a lot of time to myself while traveling and now and ready to go out and have fun in my last two weeks. I think the storm also brought out a lot of this energy. But I have been really restless in my community.
On the flip side, the traveling was amazing. We got to experience they craziness of Bangalore and even went into the shopping mall, whoo buddy was that weird. Hampi was gorgeous. That's the only word I have for it. I watched the stars at night and the sun rise and set. But the most wonderful sunset so far was at Fireflies, which is a non-secular ashram outside of Bangalore. I didn't have my camera with me that night but all colors of the rainbow appeared in the sky. I doubt that I will ever see another one that beautiful.
I am sorry it has taken so long to blog but with such limited connections, us traveling, and then the cyclone which knocked out power for awhile...it has been difficult to find working e mail. I'm going to try and keep things more up-to-date over the last two in a half weeks, yes only two in a half weeks. That's so crazy...time has really flown by.
I'll admit I'm ready to head home. I don't want to say that I'm homesick...I just feel like I have done everything I came here to do and I'm just ready to head home. I think most of us actually feel the same and are ready to hop on that plane. The closer it gets the more ready we are. I'll sign off for now leaving a picture of one of my sunsets. I will later try to post images of the fallen trees in College Guest House.
Sunrise by Martin Scherfler and the Students in India
This should make everyone feel HAPPY.
Many pictures
Service learning is coming to a close tomorrow, October 30th. It is almost November....how time flies. Life has been great here because at nights have turned cool. We all need a long sleeves in the morning, and to sleep in. The cool nights are very enjoyable for many of us because we know back home the weather has cooled off and some of our homes already have their first snows. We all are missing apple season, the changing of the leaves, and the first snow. Last night we did some reminiscing. In a little more than a week we leave for Bangalore and Hampi for the rest of November. I cannot wait to do the 2 day solo at Ecodaya and sleep in a rock cave watching the sun rise and set at my feet. Another exciting event is that those of us who continued Tai Chi are nearly finished with the whole form. Tomorrow we will wrap everything up and have a full week to practice the whole form and work on the places that need it. That is all for now.....remember: Pass by that which you do not love.
Temple Travel
We’re back into the swing of things here in Auroville after five days of travel around Tamil Nadu. We started up on Wednesday at 8:30 traveling to Trichy. The ride was pretty long, five hours but we took a nice food/pee break. As we rode through the towns we got to experience a little bit of what it means to be young white women in India. As people noticed the bus they shouted and waved at us. I personally felt uncomfortable with the situation; it was as if we were celebrities the way that random village people flocked to the bus. Once we had passed some beautiful mountains and rice fields(see pictures below), we came into a crazy busy city. It was packed with people and buildings and bikes galore. We slept in a pretty nice hotel with a super good restaurant. I think we were all excited to have some super yum Indian food(Auroville doesn’t have much in the way of Indian food). From Trichy we went to Thanjavor- where we stayed in an amazing resort. (we’re pretty spoiled sometimes) After two days there, we moved onto Chidambaram.
(beautiful bus ride)
more...
More...
| NEXT page |
